A corker!

There were various comments that crossed my mind about this review but I think if I wrote them down they'd look silly for various reasons - I'd really like you to read this though - my favourite review so far of the new album.

http://www.pennyblackmusic.co.uk/MagSitePages/Review.aspx?id=9343

Don't forget to have a look round the rest of the site - they're obvioulsy discerning people!

Corporate takeover?

OK, so this place is going to be a bit more advertis-ey and a bit more promo-ey and a bit less whine-ey and moan-ey over the next short while...This is because the new album is out and people are generally being nice about it - though I did get accused of McCartney style whimsy by one reviewer - Hurray!  Re-evaluation of Ram anyone?  I have a daughter and I wrote the first track 'Brand New Day' as a lullaby for her when she was tiny - so a slightly whimsical lullaby?  Who ever would have thought...Shouldn't be too sensitive mind, what with me promising to hang bus company owners from lamp posts and whatnot in perevious posts... 

I may try to get some new reviews up on the er, reviews page soon...quotes anyway.

People have been buying the album via Bandcamp which is good as the money goes straight into the 'doing more of this stuff'/ guitar strings don't buy themselves you know' fund...

Oh and I don't think I have proper links to the videos on here so here's one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5tgWBGa3zQ

So...please pass stuff around so I can get more comments advertising enlargements from spammers in the Congo...though real comments are OK too...

Smell The Blood is here!

Well...HRH, Doctor Who and assorted ex Spice girls are booked, the Very Big Bottle of Champagne is on ice, the cake is decorated, the ribbon is ready for cutting, the plunger is ready to be plunged, the charges are set, the doping tests are all positive and er, the turkey is in the oven...so everything is ready to launch the good ship THE NEW JOHN PARKES ALBUM.

So, finally, after years of adding bits and polishing bats (it spills their fruit by the way, the fruit ones anyway...) and getting a man in and filling in forms on databases and rehearsing and playing and recording and generally A LOT OF STUFF!...

We are pleased to announce that The ‘Bleeding Edge / Distant Past’ album is out of the box / the traps / the gates and begins sliding down the slipway and entering your oceanic heart with top tunes and lyrics and ooh, you know, music stuff...On Monday.  Or now really...(sorry those people queing at what are left of the record shops at midnight...)

Any road...best place to find it is probably bandcamp -    http://johnparkes.bandcamp.com where you can buy the CD or download – all very easy via Paypal – you can also give it a listen there too.

You can also check out a couple of videos...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diiAu_tcORE for the video for ‘A Strange Affair’ and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5tgWBGa3zQ for the video for ‘What To Do (One True Love)’

 

'Enjoy' as they say - but it's not about enjoyment is it?  Nor is it art!

 

Anyway, you'd be very welcome to buy the album...

Meaning and Celeberiddeee

Darn it!  I’ve been meaning to check this out before, but one of my pet ideas is the removal of meaning from words in the modern world.  I‘d been wondering if this still goes on as it seemed to me it might be on the wane.  One example from a few years ago was the proposed renaming of the Post Office (what were they going to call it, Consignia or something?) so as to remove from its name any clues as to its purpose.  But it is clearly still going on.  For example my mum recently received a letter to tell her that Adult Social Care Services Lincolnshire (I think that’s the name) is being renamed (it’ll be ‘re-branded’ of course...) ‘Focus’ or somesuch.  So previously it had a name consisting of 5 words that gave up to 5 clues as to what it actually was - and this is now being replaced by a meaningless buzzword which makes you think of cars or photography or something.

I also have a theory (and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one) that the word ‘celebrity’ has come to mean ‘someone very few people have heard of’.  I just found a list of the most recent Celebrity Big Brother contestants.  To my consternation I’d still heard of 2 of them, namely Louie Spence (the pantomime gay stereotype) and Ron Atkinson (possibly racist football manager).  I recognised the face of a third one too (Bruce Jones it seems) but I have no idea what he does.  Turns out he’s in Corrie...why am I checking?

And now...here they are...The Rutles! - I feel good, I feel bad...

Now, it’s impossible to explain here what the Rutles are all about if you have no idea...but here’s my quick go....at sometime in the late 70s (probably) there was a Beatles documentary on the telly called ‘All You need is Love’ which was basically a potted history of the Beatles – could have even been a series.  It was pretty good and included interviews with people such as Brian Epstein’s mother and well, some of the usual ‘people who knew the Beatles’. 

At the time ex Python Eric Idle was involved in a new series called ‘Rutland Weekend Television’...I should really direct you to Wikipedia.  Anyway...it included a spoof bit about the ‘Rutles’ along with such golden phrases as ‘the legend that will last a lunchtime’ and ‘the pre-fab four’.  Neil Innes wrote some very Beatle like songs.  And 25 years later they’re playing those songs live.  In fact have a look at this... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rutles

So...the Rutles were at the Brudenell Social Club t’other night and I went along. 

I'd been slightly confused by the advertising – it mentioned ‘The Ruttles’ (2 ts) somewhere for a start and said they featured Barry Wom and Ron McNasty.  Now how can you put on the Rutles without a) being able to spell the name of the band and b) knowing that is was Ron Nasty and Dirk McQuickly and that there was no such person as Ron McNasty?  Ah well, people are strange (in Double Back Alley?)

On the night I was slightly put out that none of the instruments used were anything like the proper Beatles ones (let’s not even mention amps fact fans...)  They’re not a tribute band in the rubbish er, tribute band sense of the word.  They are sort of an affectionate parody – but the odd Hohner bass or Rickenbacker guitar wouldn’t have gone amiss in my world.  They were pretty good though.  But here’s the weird thing...the two most memorable bits were 1) Neil Innes playing the ‘Brave Sir Robin’ song from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and 2) a version of All Things Must Pass (The George Harrison song from the album of the same name) which somehow managed to be both a tiny bit silly (Mr Innes was playing a ukulele for a start) but also really touching and heartfelt.  A really serious song (optimistic, nah, not really) done with a light touch that just brought out the beauty of it all.  So it all felt good!  This isn’t a great quality vid but it’s the only one I can find on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUz6nokcLsw  I don’t think this is as good as the version they played in Leeds either!

So the Rutles were fun as I expected them to be though the sounds were a bit unauthentic...Nearly forgot to mention, back in the day my band Greenhouse played a version of the Rutles ‘I Must Be In Love’ live at the few gigs that we did supporting the Wedding Present.  So far as I know no recording exists of us doing this!

If you’ve never heard the Rutles you should first of all be a Beatles fan.  You should then buy the Rutles first album.  The second one is more Innes and less Beatles and to be honest not as good – but worth a listen.  Meanwhile I really should have written this a bit more, like proper...apologies. 

The ruthless efficiency of the private sector

Phew! - Relieved to find that purveyors of fatty, salty slop Pizza Hut are still advertising their delivery service - TO AREAS THEY WON'T DELIVER TO! 

By which I mean my house.  It seems childish to say that I didn't want any of their horrible stuff anyway - but I didn't want any of their horrible stuff anyway.  I know I've mentioned this before but one should probably (or possibly anyway) drop in on these places once every few years to see what they're like / how they're getting on - last time in Pizza Hut I was genuinely surprised to find out how rubbish it was.  Anyway, that's enough Hut...Mind you, last time I went to a Little Chef just wanting a cup of coffee the wait was considerably less than the scheduled hour and a half...

Another moan

Another quick moan about spam comments - seems lots of people in Latvia and France are particularly interested in my Blog - yeah, right...I'm getting loads of spam comments and they're a bit annoying.  Ah well, that's the modern internet for you I guess, I remember when it were all trees...

Guerrilla tour starts!

Mm, well, calling it a 'guerrilla tour' is maybe not quite right.  A gorilla tour or even a Bird's Eye Grillers tour (remember them?  'I hope it's chips etc...probably) might be more fun.

But I'm starting to do some open mic gigs.  Well, doing one tonight anyway - heading off to Factory Street in Bradford tonight.  Hope to get a couple of songs in at least...

https://www.facebook.com/events/520401368007445/#!/events/199706890180379/

Go Gaslight!

Last night I finally got myself down to the Gaslight Club at Oporto in Leeds (Call Lane)

https://www.facebook.com/GaslightClubLeeds

Sound was good, acts were all great, ambiance good too...Sorry this is a bit like an ad but it is worth going down on a Monday night - and free to get in too...I want to play there - but even if they think I'm great they have a waiting list of AROUND A YEAR!  So...given the case that this is the way things are I'm going to be doing some guerrilla open mic stuff over the next few months - in other words since I didn't get my arse in gear to get some gigs a year ago the only way I'm going to put it about a bit music wise is to do open mics...Actually, these are usually booked in advance too but generally not a year...so see you down at wherever the mood, geography or inclination takes us...

Incidentally, I have wondered about doing reviews of a sort of gigs or whatever on here.  Trouble is it takes too long and often I feel like I only have fairly ordinary descriptions rather than exciting insights anyway - and there's a big dose of that 'they're really good, just not quite my kind of thing' about a lot of people / acts.

Sterilise the lot of 'em!

I'm sick of paying my taxes to finance these people coming over here and having bloody children left right and centre and expecting the state to pick up the tab...Bloody spongers and scroungers.  We pay for them to live in massive houses and they don't even think of getting proper jobs and working for a living.  Not only that but many of them haven't had a proper job for generations.  We tolerate this and it goes on and on.  They're just taking advantage and I'm sick of it...Bloody royals...

Wither the weather...

So once again the story was written.  Wall to wall sun, unusually high temperatures, heatwave, anyone over 40 or under 10 is going to die, really hot, blah blah blah, help we're all going to die - and once again a lie.  I'd just like to say to the British media JUST BECAUSE IT IS HOT IN YOUR TINY PIECE OF THE SOUTH EAST OF ENGLAND DOES NOT MEAN THAT IT'S LIKE THAT EVERYWHERE!

I really wish they wouldn't report their experience as if it were the whole country.  Fact is that I swallowed this 'it's going to be baking hot even at night' twaddle and set off for the Deer Shed Festival this weekend with shorts (I did have some jeans too btw...) and just one thin jumper and only a thin sleeping bag with one blanket - and it was freezing at night!  It was cloudy most of the time and it drizzled a tiny bit and it was misty and...well, the festival was good and the weather was OK - BUT THE WEATHER WAS NOT WHAT THEY SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE.  I suppose if I'd religiously watched the local weather they might not have been so bad but all over the media were contstant references to hottest temperatures and sun and all the rest.  In fact we've had a typically British summer - a few days of nice weather followed by cloud and coolness.  I guess there msut be swathes of the country that never get a weather forcast because they're not at the extremes of the country or in London.

Enough of the baby already...

If it's not an offence and if we still have some sort of free speech I'd just like to say that I'm really sick of all this 'royal baby' stuff.  Oh and I'm against the whole idea of monarchy too.  I know this isn't particularly clever or funny or anything but I do think us republicans (not in the North American sense) should mention the fact once in a while. 

If I was descended from murderous thugs / massive criminals I wouldn't be particularly pleased - although the word 'decended' is obviously a very loose term as they're so clearly not decended from some of the people they're supposed to be decended from...

The news is going to be grim for weeks and months, potentially forever.  I just don't think it's 'news'...Ah well, another reason ot not watch telly I suppose...

...and as an aside, is there one person in the world with half a brain cell who doesn't realise that The Apprentice is freak show telly?    I just saw a couple of  minutes of it.  I bet that in real life some of the contestants are not actually morons by the way.  I presume they're willing to be humiliated for money, that's all...

Help Me! Help Me!

Oh deary deary me...

The voluntary sector is generally a good thing - people doing good stuff for not much money.  But I do wish they'd learn to communicate.  By which I mean I wish they'd learn to speak English. 

This is item 1 from a job description for a job currently on offer.  Maybe they've been corrupted by government who frequently can't speak English either...

"to deliver the Yorkshire & Humber element of the national programme under the Health and Care Voluntary Sector Strategic Partner Programme and the Innovation Excellence and Strategic Development programme for the Department of Health and through Regional Voices".

 

Got that everyone?  Yep, a list of aspirational buzzwords made into meaningless names with the word 'deliver' at the beginning.

 

Ironically the poor sod who gets this job has to do a monthly newsletter!  Mind you it'll be written in such a way as to exclude the plebs...Don't know about you but I think people who get public money should be made to attend English classes...

One of the more fun disasters

Now I don't normally include photos but here's one.  Spotted at a local event last weekend.  I won't mention what event it was because I'm not having a go at the event but I do wonder about this particular attraction.

Is it just me or is this clearly a tragedy themed inflatable fun slide?  Come and pretent to be one of 1,500 people cast into dark and freezing water to die a horrible death!  Can the 9-11 bouncy castle be far behind?

I wonder how they market this thing?!

A moment's research reveals I'm not the first to notice...
http://www.odditycentral.com/news/inflatable-titanic-slide-is-so-fun-its-been-banned.html

And I thought my 9-11 suggestion was bad!

Sport is reet 'ard actually...

Blimey, sport?  Me?

Sorry to come over all well, like the meedja but I wanted to say something about Andy Murray.  Simple really.  Thing is that that Wimbledon final looked really hard work.  It was a reminder that even really talented people have to work really hard to be successful at what they do.  Just maybe it's a sign that we're moving towards people being well known for their achievements rather than their personality disorders or for going shopping. 

Mind you the Apprentice is still on isn't it?  So the freaks are still there to be beaten...

Nelson Mandela

Obviously there was some celebration on the demise of Margaret Thatcher.  Oddly she did inspire a lot of great music.  When British industry closed down in favour of the Kingdom of Spivs a lot of us had a lot of time on our hands to make music.  But this post is about Nelson Mandela.  I'm just wondering if those middle aged Tories who were young Tories back in the late 70s and early 80s will be polishing their 'Hang Nelson Mandela' badges and putting on their 'Nelson Mandela is a Terrorist' t-shirts and preparing to party?

Back then there was a mining department at Leeds University (remember mining!?) and you'd occasionally see me at a picket of job interviews.  Yeah I know, not exactly freedom fighting but better than doing absolutely nothing I like to think...If I remember rightly Rio Tinto Zinc were employing (white) mining engineers to go and live in big houses with swimming pools while the South African police gunned down (black) children for wanting to go to school.  That was when moderate Tories suggested that we 'engage' with South Africa - by investing in Krugerands and playing them at sport while supposedly telling them that this violent racism stuff wasn't really cricket apparently.  The phrase 'playing the white man' springs to mind.  At the time many saw apartheid as a bit weird but not really any of our business and there was a tendency to believe the authorities' stories that young black men were beating themselves half to death then throwing themselves out of office block windows when the police weren't looking.

We should admit that there was an element of 'wind up the lefties' in the young Tories, but they were the ones actively supporting the apartheid regime.  They remain a bunch of evil bastards if you ask me and I suspect that some of them are in the current government.  They effectively supported racial violence and gunning down children in the street. And when Nelson Mandela goes, which I hope is still some time away please beat up a Tory for me.  And for Nelson.  It's the only language they understand.

Chris Packham goes nuclear!

In common with presumably a large proportion of the coolest sections of the UK population I’ve been following Chris Packham sneaking Clash songs into Springwatch – today he actually blatantly name checked the Clash.  Weirdly, I’d just been saying ‘he’ll never squeeze White Man in Hammersmith Palais in’ – and he did!  Within seconds – (with a crowbar I have to admit) along with Rock the Casbah and Janie Jones a couple of minutes later.  I’ve since checked and he’s been getting absolutely loads of them in!  I guess he had to be blatant to get the difficult ones in.

Anyone who knows his Clash is OK by me.  And he’s been logging the whole thing!  And the whole Springwatch nature / animals thing?  Can take it or leave it, me...

 

His opinion / assessment of the Clash is spot on and weirdly mirrors my own experience - except that I saw them in Sheffield and the shop was WH Smiths in Grimsby...

 

http://www.chrispackham.co.uk/news/blog/chris-wild-encounters/the-story-of-the-springwatch-clash-volume-1

This is a plug - but it is for cherriddy

It's the internet and there's a picture of a cat on this link! C,mon, we all know that's what everyone wants! I'd like everyone who can to sponsor Mike from Cloth Cat in Leeds who is doing one of those crazy amount of miles run things along Hadrian's wall or something (70 miles or something really daft). Just a few quid so if he dies we can say it was worth it...

Here's a bit of blurb about Cloth Cat. After that I promise to shut up. For a bit...Thanks for listening 

Cloth Cat aims to increase the quality of people living in deprived inner city areas of Leeds by promoting, supporting, inspiring and encouraging them, using music as the tool.

Central to our activities is a programme of practical music based community courses covering subjects from singing and instrument tuition to music production, DJing and the business of music.

Cloth Cat also works with groups such as the homeless, those with mental health problems and disenfranchised youth, providing the necessary support for rehabilitation, therapy and as a positive social outlet.

We also are committed to people who have not had access to these types of opportunities in the past, helping them develop their skills through mentoring, performances and signposting to other agencies.  In some cases students have developed through Cloth Cat to become teachers in their own right.

https://www.facebook.com/events/129174253945652/

Spambot Stats

Sad to say that the stats for this 'ere JP blog thang are still totally mucked up by the spambots and their fake comments.  They're quite easy to spot (for a person anyway, apparently not for an antispambot bot) and can be quite entertaining for a short while.

Apologies if you do make a comment and don't get a response - though if you are human and it looks like you're genuine I may well reply!

Donate!

I laughed out loud at the cartoon in the new Private Eye - a man saying 'I can't remember being so indifferent since Diana died' and I have to say that I haven't been to a Thatcher is dead celebration street party or whatever at all.  Whole Sky Monitor did have a beer mind you...

But being serious, our man Billy Bragg who rarely says owt stupid did suggest this website.  I agree so I'm passing on the link  http://donthatedonate.com/  There is a certain callousness about celebrating anyone's death so you can go here and mark the death of Maggie by donating...

I'm going to give a few quid to the Tutu Foundation.  I'm not a Christian (far from it...) but when Des goes I will probably shed a tear...but hopefully that's a long time away...

Maggie Maggie Maggie!

One or two people who are too young to remember have asked me what all the fuss is about Margaret Thatcher...

Well, here's my tuppennyworth...

These are the things I remember most about Maggie.

• Awful patronising tone when talking to anyone at all
• Support for Apartheid South Africa
• Using the police to stop people legitimately using roads in coalfield areas during the miners strike (they'd arrest everyone who wouldn't turn back at road blocks and the courts would declare it illegal and let them go - then it'd happen again and again and again)
• Related to the above, using the police as a political tool
• Presiding over the conversion of the economy from manufacturing to 'services' which seems to mean moving money around from screen to screen and pocketing massive profits without actually doing anything useful (until it all went wrong)
• Her 'Victorian values' - not so much civic pride or public sewer building but a general prejudice against gay people and foreigners  
• The massive and deliberate shift of power away from trade unions and their members to multinational corporations
• Complete lack of sympathy bordering on contempt for workers, Northerners, working northerners and the unemployed (and more I'm sure)
• Social values based on promoting and rewarding selfishness and greed
• Holes in the road
• Selling Council houses off with no intention of building any new ones
• Oh yes, there's the massive hypocrisy of that Francis of Assisi quote about harmony!

The Thatcher government was the only time I can remember when the government seemed to actually be out to get me.  Not the same as not representing me or representing other interests - but actually out to get me personally for not toeing the line.

The sad fact is that she did win - greatest legacy being New Labour and the myth that only private enterprise works.  I give you German Railways as a quick example.  And British ones as another!

That's enough Thatcher...

Rough Little Mixes

Music!  Yes, I'm going to mention music.  I've been with Neil the top recording man today sorting out rough mixes of new recordings.  I think this is what it would look like if I tweeted...

I now have what I need to rehearse bass playing and singing.  Ah...work...Well, sort of...

Fifty three quid!

If you don't know what I'm talking about here don't worry.  Anyway, yes...any fool can live on £53 a week - for about a week.  Until you need toilet roll and shampoo and stamps and need to catch a bus and buy a bit of food and...

So if IDS is going to live on £53 a week it has to be for at least 6 months or it means nothing...

Here's a thought on the benefits bill...Part of the reason for it being so high is that wages are so low.  This is partly due to power being shifted from workers and unions to big international companies.  So...the way to decrease the benefits bill is to give more power to those demanding higher wages.  They then pay more in tax.  So basically we're talking about a shift of power and money from the rich and powerful to the poor and powerless.  Easy!  Bring back left of centre politics and trade unions!

There you go IDS, you can have that for a consultancy fee of oh, I dunno...fifty three quid.  Plus a bonus.  Call it a million quid...

The Spam Bots are winning!

I'm really sick of spam bots with their fake blog comments...

This is the kind of thing...

"I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
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It's knacking my stats for one thing.  I've had the odd chuckle at the near English but it is annoying

Here's another one...

"What a stuff of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious know-how
about unexpected feelings".

I get dozens of these things.  To be fair I think Blogger is picking them up and removing them but I get the notifications y'see...

That's enough spam botting for now I think...

Too much to do...

Ooh, there should have been millions of posts recently but I haven't had time to do any.  I'm seriously considering Twittering so I can just do the odd line here and there, though I much prefer pontificating at length.  But here's some bits and pieces...

My old band from the 1980s, the Sinister Cleaners will be playing their first gig since er, 1987 at the Parish in Huddersfield on Saturday 13th April 2013.

I've been 'in the studio laying down some tracks' with Simon who used to be the Wedding Present's drummer back in the day - been recording some new songs, Neil from Chumbas at the controls...Andrew from the above mentioned Sinister Cleaners 'dropped by' and did some bits too.

My new album is all edited and mastered and ready to be manufactured.

I'm playing my first solo gig in ages at the White Rose Centre in Leeds on Saturday 9th March - I'm on at about 3.45 though there are top turns on all day - helping raise money for the MS Society.

And some brief music opinions...went to the NME tour thang at the O2 in Leeds recently - Miles Kane was incomprehensible - i.e. I saw no musical value whatsoever - though the drummer was good.  I just didn't get it at all...just dull.  Meanwhile Django Django unexpectedly put on a massive show and were ace.  In fact...I'll make time in another post for them...and for Jake Bugg...

Our friends the banks

I'd like to ask a question.  Why is it that the the profitable bits of the banks are going to be re-privatised first while we hang on to the 'toxic assets'? Why can't we, the owners of the banks (who nursed them back to health under public ownership it seems) get the profits and let the banks keep their toxic assets?

Why do we keep buying into the notion that private enterprise works while public ownership doesn't?  Bankers proved they weren't fit to be er, bankers so we took their banks off them, pumped in billions of pounds ground from the poor in extra VAT and whatnot and when they're looking a bit healthier under public ownership we're planning to give them back to the people who should now be on the street begging not to be kicked into the gutter?  Makes yer think though eh? 

"Everything happens for a reason"

I heard someone say 'I think everything happens for a reason' recently.  Well, I would like to say that that idea is offensive nonsense (I'm offended, call the police!)  The idea that some cosmic force is hurling children to their deaths in the road or making you redundant so you can learn something new about your inner self - I think the word HALFWIT was invented for this sort of talk.  The universe would be a truly scary place if reason had anything at all to do with all the bad stuff that happens.  Randomness is scary but the idea that something was organising it all would be truly horrible!

Fish know better (cod philosophy, geddit?!)

...and if anyone posts any more of those damned homilies on Facebook (or anywhere I can see them!) I will kill them (oop, it's the police again!)

You know the sort of thing - generally starts with "A true friend..."  I suggest A true friend "will tell you to shut the fuck up when you're talking like a halfwit"

Incidentally I do like the word halfwit.  So far I'm not aware of anyone bleating on about how offensive it is.

I just spellchecked this post - Blogger spellcheck suggests that 'offensive' is wrong!

It's all free I tell you...But only for me!

Vistaprint have been in touch again.  They like to stay in touch; in fact they contact me every day pretty much.  Everything is free at Vistaprint (and the sun always shines one presumes).  Then they send me exclusive offers and special deals (you won’t get them, no siree, they’re just for me – oh you have!?) – and they’re currently having a “Mega Sale”.  Thing is that everything is free – so how do you reduce your prices from free?  How do you improve on free from a customer perspective?! 

Here comes an analogy...Now I won’t need to tell you how annoying ‘booking fees’ are on concert tickets.  They tell you a ticket is, say, £20 but actually it costs £22.50 to get one – outrageous.  Now imagine that concerts are ‘free’ but you have no idea how much the ‘booking fee’ is until right at the end of the transaction.  Now imagine that you have to design your own concert tickets and upload logos and whatnot and basically do the artwork.  If you can be bothered you work through the process - to find that your free ticket costs about £22.50. 

 

That ladies and gentlemen is Vistaprint!  Oh, and they do free delivery on orders of over £10!  If only everything wasn’t free I might get my order up to a tenner.  I wonder when they tell you how much the free postage is going to cost you?

Travel chaos linked to Savile investigation

You may have noticed the phenomenon of the ‘news’ story written in advance.  Here’s an example from today...The Metro has a headline saying “Icy blast plunges Britain into travel chaos”.  Well not where I was - and for some reason I haven’t heard about this 'chaos'.  Tell me more Metro...”by mid afternoon 6cm of snow had fallen on Nottingham”.  6cm eh?  Well, clearly anyone 3 inches tall will have had a problem – presumably this is the most dramatic snowfall they could find? – not ‘up to 4mm which melted away almost instantly’ then?  However they also said “accumulations of up to 10cm were expected in many places” 10 feet?! Oh My God, no!  No,10cm.  Oh and a car skidded in Oxfordshire.  Clearly this piece was going in the paper anyway, even though the chaos failed to materialise in real life.  Someone I knew at school was killed on the road last week...didn’t make the Metro though...People more interested in minor inconvenience if weather related...

I know this is only the Metro but really...Any forecast of snow and the media re-run these tedious stories whatever the actual facts.

Oh, here’s another disingenuous story...Look North (the BBC ferflippsaxes...) reporting from outside St Gemma’s Hospice in Leeds recently – the story was of an assault by Jimmy Savile.  The reporter had his most serious grave / ashen face on too of course.  The clear implication was that Savile had stooped so low as to molest a dying person – so was this the story?  Actually no, it involved a visitor, not a patient.  But in all the hundreds of Jimmy Savile stories why pick on this one?  Presumably because the titillation / ‘horror’ factor was higher.  More drama, more moral outrage – ‘look, we’ve got a story that’s even more terrible than other people’s’.  They didn’t want to let go of the implication and the hospice was forced to issue a statement (they’re against this sort of thing, should you be wondering). Why should the hospice be singled out and forced to comment as the venue for an alleged assault when it seems hundreds of places were the venue for assaults?

 

Similarly there are people who may well be unpleasant law breakers and guilty of sexual assault but are clearly not paedophiles.  But the papers are able to link them to ‘Savile investigation’ and so by implication they are. 

In short I don’t think the concepts of ‘news’ and ‘implication’ should be mixed.  If Jimmy Savile assaulted a dying person say so, if someone is proved to be a paedophile say so – but don’t  tell the story in such a way as to imply something that you clearly can’t back up with facts. And of course they never sucked up to sir Jimmy on Look North did they?

 

I know, I know, best not to go on the internet or watch the telly or read the papers.  Note to self.  Get a life instead...