Damn you Helen Lederer

Somehow, wading through the swamp of shite that is  MSN or somewhere I came across a mention of Celebrity Big Brother.  You'd think they'd have a new one of these every year but it seems to be every few weeks.

As ahem, 'regular readers' will know I'm a fan of the contention that the modern definition of a 'celebrity' or celebriddy as I prefer (to honour Smashie and Nicey) is a person that hasn't done anything, isn't famous and no-one has heard of.  So I'm always slightly disappointed when I see a list of who's on 'Celebrity' Big Brother to find out I know who they are.  I feel I'm getting closer and that my definition of celebrity is also getting closer to reality - but still not quite there.

But today I mistakenly clicked on a link to a list of the latest Celebrity Big Brother contestants - and Helen Lederer has come along to spoil it - the one person on CBB who I've heard of.  Damn!  To be fair I had heard the name Derek Acorah though I couldn't have told you what he did - not much by the looks of it, but then that is part of the definition.  And to be fair I recognised that bloke who used to be in Eastenders when I saw the picture, though I didn't know his name.

But if it wasn't for Helen L I could (sort of) have claimed my 100% prize.  It is a bit depressing though.  Apart from her the others are mainly an assortment of teeth, jaws, stubble and suits (the men) and teeth, cleavage, hair and make-up (the women).

Presumably some people know who they are and some of them must have done something or other if nothing productive or interesting - and I expect some of them are good people.  Who have stumbled into a swamp full of shite.  Which is where I came in.

Damn you Helen Lederer...

PS am |I being patronising and sniffy and needlessly dismissive - you're damned right I am! 

Celebriddys Again

I've just seen the line-up of Celebrity Big Brother.  And once more I've heard of THREE of them.  How long do I have to wait for that long-awaited time when I've not heard of any of the people on this programme?  I guess this must be because they always have a couple of people who were famous(ish) some time ago.  And a bunch of people who were on the actual Big Brother a few years back.  Something like that anyway.

Sam Fox was one of them I'd heard of...Christopher Biggins is another.  And Helen Lederer...

It's darned disappointing though...

Damn you Mister Motivator!

Oops, I forgot to post this and it's getting a bit old now...

Darn it, feeling slightly cheated. I checked out the list of celebs appearing in 'Tumble' the  BBC One Saturday night 'entertainment' show - AND I'VE HEARD OF ONE OF THEM! An improvement on the 2 (or sometimes even 3) I usually get for these things but disappointing nonetheless. Damn you Mister Motivator!  For the most of you that won't have heard of him he was something to do with jumping about on daytime TV back in the 80s or 90s...

 

I await the day when 100% of celebrity contestants are people no-one has heard of.  And I'm still waiting for the 10 blade razor...

Meaning and Celeberiddeee

Darn it!  I’ve been meaning to check this out before, but one of my pet ideas is the removal of meaning from words in the modern world.  I‘d been wondering if this still goes on as it seemed to me it might be on the wane.  One example from a few years ago was the proposed renaming of the Post Office (what were they going to call it, Consignia or something?) so as to remove from its name any clues as to its purpose.  But it is clearly still going on.  For example my mum recently received a letter to tell her that Adult Social Care Services Lincolnshire (I think that’s the name) is being renamed (it’ll be ‘re-branded’ of course...) ‘Focus’ or somesuch.  So previously it had a name consisting of 5 words that gave up to 5 clues as to what it actually was - and this is now being replaced by a meaningless buzzword which makes you think of cars or photography or something.

I also have a theory (and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one) that the word ‘celebrity’ has come to mean ‘someone very few people have heard of’.  I just found a list of the most recent Celebrity Big Brother contestants.  To my consternation I’d still heard of 2 of them, namely Louie Spence (the pantomime gay stereotype) and Ron Atkinson (possibly racist football manager).  I recognised the face of a third one too (Bruce Jones it seems) but I have no idea what he does.  Turns out he’s in Corrie...why am I checking?

Shocked to the core...

Well people, MSN suggest we vote on 'the most shocking celebrity story of 2012' - apparently it might be one of these...

1. Tulisa 'sex tape' released
2. Kristen Stewart cheats on Robert Pattinson
3. Whitney Houston's death
4. Prince Harry nude picture revealed
5. Kate Middleton's topless picture published
6. Rihanna and Chris Brown rekindle their romance
7. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes split up
8. Stacey Solomon smokes while pregnant
9. Myleene Klass' husband leaves her after six months of marriage
10. Helen Flanagan poses with a gun to her head

Anyway, that's a big Merry Christmas to all Jimmy Savile's victims then!

PS - There are 13 people mentioned in that list - To my shame I've heard of no fewer than 8 of them.  They can't be proper 'celebrities' - if they were I wouldn't have heard of them at all right?