At the swimming pool today I saw a young man in the changing room pull on some very pink ladies ‘panties’*
What was the correct procedure and what did I actually do?
1. Stroll up saying ‘Hi, I notice you’re wearing girls underwear, it looks pretty comfortable, I was thinking of getting some for myself, I’d really value your opinion...’
2. Point while shouting ‘hey everyone, laydees underwear alert, 2 o’clock!’
3. Quietly have a word with reception hoping they’ll send security to have him and his panties removed.
4. Shout ‘Oy you, you weirdo, we don’t want your sort in here!’
5. Wink and nudge him in the ribs while whispering conspiratorially ‘took ‘em off her last night did you? Top job mate’
6. Try to ignore it and tell (a small part of the) world by quietly putting it on your blog
(Note: 6 is the right answer, did you guess? - really?!!)
* while I’m on, this is one of those words that can’t be used free of connotation…which of these do you use?
1. Panties – silly and a bit rude
2. Knickers – too rude
3. Bloomers – too comic
4. Smalls – too old fashioned and too comic
5. Pants – too confusing for Americans
6. Strides - too modern and I don't know where it comes from
7. Trolleys - See 6 above
I could've got the old Thesaurus out and got more panting words, but why would I? You'd begin to think I'm strange - and don’t even get me started on the need for a female equivalent of ‘willy’ children, for the use of.