I’m currently using a bar of soap that was partially eaten by mice – several years ago.
I bought some ‘festive' mince pies that had a sell-by date of 19th November.
Until recently it never occurred to me that the name Sandie Shaw was a pun.
Poundstretcher (or whatever they call themselves now) sell Advent calendars - for dogs.
My printer directs everything straight into the bin.
This week I was given £785 in cash by the representative of a toilet cubicle manufacturer.
My local swimming baths has a viewing area - but no place for wanking.