Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Quality Advertised Goods - in Grimsby and Elsewhere

This could have been just the Grimsby Evening Telegraph. However the GET definitely used to book space in their ads section to say ‘Buy Advertised Goods’. Good old goods eh? Do you know, since that day I’ve never been able to resist goods – so long as they are advertised you understand.

…oh, and ‘Quality Carpets’ of course. Unfortunately around 50% of the time (according to a survey of whoever was in the office that afternoon at Heat magazine) they mean ‘shit quality’ carpets or ‘poor quality’ carpets. They may even mean 'average quality' or even 'good quality' but there is no such thing as a 'quality carpet', only a moron who can't speak English. If you buy one, they may use ‘logistics’ or ‘logistical solutions’. This is shite for ‘we’ve got a van and we will deliver your carpet in it’. If you're in and if they can find you.

For historical and security reasons, my house isn't on all of the A-Zs. Maybe my house is a deliberate mistake to foil the roaming mobs of swarthy and foreign looking map counterfeiters. However, this does illustrate a point. Have you ever tried giving directions to a delivery van driver (or taxi or pizza delivery firm) before they've got lost? And will they concede, when they have got lost, that actually you do know where your house is at least as well as they do - if not better?

As I constantly and consistently advise, best not to buy anything ever - unless advertised, of course.

No comments: