Making my way to the WSM rehearsal 'suite' in Armley, I have to cross the road at the end of Wellington Street – you know the one where just as an experiment the Highway Code has been suspended. Here the red light means ‘next 5 cars at maximum speed through the pedestrian crossing please’. I believe this suspension has been introduced at thousands of locations across the country.
As I approached, I had nearly finished a stolen apple (well, it was offered the day before, I’d said ‘no’ then but I guessed the offer was probably still open and there were 5 on the desk…moral relativism is my bag y’know…)
Anyway, the lights turned red, the green man came out and bleeped his forlorn bleep and 2 cars sped through the crossing (only two I know, must’ve been a quiet day). I launched the apple core at the second car – GOTCHA! – middle of the passenger window. I half hoped the car would skid to a halt and the driver appear for a shouting match (‘possibly more’ as the small ads say). I stole the apple from someone at work. Unbeknownst to her, she is my unwitting accomplice.
Incidentally, when I Googled militant pedestrians I got 666 suggestions! If I have time, www.militantpedestrians.com will be mine! Apple cores, paint guns, insulting notes and loud voices at the ready people. Got to learn to fight back - and any car on the pavement will be torched by a hired (and well paid) blind (make that 'member of the partially sighted community') person with a buggy and an army surplus WWII flamethrower...'oh, my beautiful wanky car, it's just exploded!' - Learn to park moron!
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