Bacon

Just like you, I know I should be a veggie at least and probably a vegan.

Leaving that aside for a minute, I bought some bacon the other day. The packet proudly announced that it contained '85% bacon'. If I complained, no doubt some twat would explain that this is what the modern consumer wants. Some things really are beyond parody. Of course when you cook it it boils in it's own injected water.

Can I boil the manufacturers in their own injected water and if not, why not? Does this mean they're doing well if I pay with my pounds worth of change which is actually 85p?

I'll have 100% bacon please you 100% twats.

PS, OK I do realise that you probably have to add some preservative or something. I'll give you 2% max.