When I were a lad you could certainly get rubber animals – not actually rubber I guess but some sort of man-made rubber substitute (I wonder if they had any real rubber in them at all?) Anyway, they probably came from Hong Kong or were ‘Empire Made’. Now, there are a lot of points potentially up for discussion there but the point I’d like to make now is that they were stretchy – sort of.
Thing is that if you buy a rubber horse (or dinosaur or lizard – it’s quite a long list. I could do this but it’s a research job and it’ll cost, you understand?) these days it’s endlessly and alarmingly stretchy. You can stretch a 2 inch rubber horse to about 2 feet - I'm not joking!
Was this announced in the papers? (Not really the) cure for cancer drugs make the headlines. Well, at sometime in the eighties or nineties (or who knows when?) I missed the ‘Rubber Horse Flexibility Breakthrough’ headline. How come? Why didn’t you let me know? - We all have to cope you know. I'm disappointed in you once again. Ah well, time heals I guess.