Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Militant Pedestrians in Public Incident - Again!

Your local representative of the Militant Pedestrians (which is me of course) nearly had a fight in the street today. The usual half dozen cars went through the amber / red light at the junction of Harehills Lane andRoundhay Road without apparently noticing that there were cars backing up on the other side and that there was no way through - or probably did but just thought they'd go anyway. I walked out onto the pedestrian crossing after the green man came on - in front of a stationery car. The driver got very cross as one does when one's wanker driving is challenged. I told him not to drive across pedestrian crossings when the green man is on. He didn't like this; he got out of his car - lots of fingers and some nose to nose stuff ensued. I should of course have stayed detached and cool and just taken the piss. Instead I was just MAAAD! Didn't do my stress levels any good but, hey, point made again I think.

Once again I need to know - how many cars is it that are allowed through a light once its changed to red? My guess is that it must technically be 3 or 4.

On a related subject, don't driving instructors teach anyone what a yellow hatched area in the road means? Has this gone the way of hand signals and not using the horn as a rebuke? Militant pedestrians say ban the car! When there were pickets of the oil terminals a few years back the quality of life shot up for a couple of days.

- And long live the Mobile Slasher! Just in case you didn't see this - A vigilante, who slashes the tyres of motorists who talk on their mobile telephones while driving, is being hunted by police. The so-called "mobile slasher" leaves an anonymous note made from letterscut from newspapers on the windscreens of the cars. The note reads: "Warning. You have been seen driving while using your mobile phone."YES! YES! YES! Vote Slasher!

When I'm king of the world and Slasher is my right-hand man, flamethrowers will be installed at all pedestrian crossings (which will be on all roads and timed to actually stop the traffic rather than changing just after the traffic has gone and you've crossed the road). When Psychoboy from today (hey, he leapt out of his car! - I could have stolen it!) or any drivers doing the same drive through they'll simply be instantly cremated in the street. The flames will be of such temperature and ferocity that he won't even block the road because he'll be a small pile of ash. His relatives will be sent a large bill for his cremation.

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