Branded on my own...

I keep being told (via spam) that if I don’t use the proper printer ink things could go horribly wrong – in addition to the hurt, bemused and indignant messages from the Epson printer itself I mean. Well now it’s the paper too – 'original Epson Paper'. It’s the perfect combination apparently – how could I have been so stupid to think that paper was paper and printer ink was printer ink eh? They must think I'm a special person who uses special paper...Imagine by the way Esso trying to convince you to only buy their petrol because any other brand will probably wreck your car. Actually they probably do if I paid attention.

I also had one of those talks from a sales person about anti-virus software recently – only the one they were selling is any good of course – I can’t remember which one it was but it was one of those that hijack your computer and send you hundreds of unwanted messages and threaten you with stuff. Yeah, Norton, that was them…

You have to be a halfwit to be a fan of ‘brands’ of course but it really is a special kind of ‘brand’ that makes you actively hate them – so congratulations, Epson, Firstbus and Norton. Mind you, I do quite like the singing passengers waltzing on the bus without paying – very much like getting the number 49 through Harehills, I’m sure you’d agree.

Top Jobs from Top Companies

I came across a couple of jobs today. First up is a ‘Multimedia Creative Assistant’. The company advertising this job (‘Nunwood’) has so they say "been uniquely designed to help clients lead their businesses using astute, visionary insight firmly linked to action and return”.

Golly, that’s good isn’t it?!

Not only that but they’re “based out of hubs in North America, Europe and APAC, we work alongside the research, marketing and strategy functions at many of the world's most inspirational brands. To do this, we employ a mixture of smart-technology, ROI-focused services and some of the best business thinkers in the industry”.

There's more...“by redefining the role of a customer insight agency, Nunwood's unique structure and approach has earned 'top agency' status and numerous awards”.

And you thought advertising people were a bunch of tossers didn’t you!?

Finally, if anyone should ever ask you to define the word 'oxymoron', try the phrase 'the world's most inspirational brands'...