Easter Shopping!

It’s Good Friday today. Thought I’d buy an Easter egg, with it being Easter and all. I’d also read there were a lot about due to Woolworth’s going out of business. I was in town so I popped into Boots. No sign. Oh well, never mind, on to Tescos. Nope – no Easter eggs in Tescos either. Ok, Wilkinson’s – now if ever there was a shop (or am I only allowed to say ‘store’ these days) that would sell Easter eggs it would be the big Wilko’s in town. Nope - nothing there but an advert for ‘em in the window. No actual Easter eggs. The penny finally dropped – they’ve been selling them since Christmas and they think to themselves, what kind of idiot would buy an Easter egg only 2 days before Easter? Presumably I should have been looking for Father’s day cards (don’t get me started on that one) – Easter eggs at Easter? – What kind of loser am I?

This is actually good news as it saves money. It’s like the fact that telly is rubbish means there’s loads more time to do ‘other stuff’ – the result is the opposite of what ‘they’ presumably want - but I gain.

Eventually, I actually I found some Easter eggs in Sainsbury’s (the Headrow, Leeds if you were wondering). However this was not a particularly pleasant experience. You get into the shop at the front where the escalators are like gleaming white evangelical teeth. When they’ve got your money they kick you out into the alley at the arse-end of the shop (sorry, store). Not only that, but when you have done your shopping they make you line up to follow a queue to 400 serve-yourself checkouts in rows - looks like the biggest urinal in history. With dozens of attendants to make sure you’re doing their job correctly for them They had a single till where someone took your money and of course this had a massive queue.

I want to know what I get from the supermarkets for doing their job for them. This whole ‘come on, come on, we’ve let you buy stuff so hurry up and fuck off and don’t you dare ask any of our staff to do anything for you’ attitude really sucks, to use the Americanism.

Looking on the bright side though, if all shopping experiences are depressing and rubbish I’ll save a load of money. Still paid £290 for new glasses though – it were free when I were a lad – NHS and all that. It were all free you know. What happened to that?

Meanwhile Argos have staff with badges saying they’re ‘colleagues’. They make sure that you don’t have to talk to them at all though. Where are all the people they used to employ in shops to do stuff?