Sunday, February 22, 2009

The limits of helpful advice 1

Post Christmas and I've been back to the swimming pool. Early morning too - I’ve been swimming with the pensioners. This is considerably cheaper than swimming with dolphins, though unlike dolphins you do have to share a changing room.

First thing is a piece of advice…blokes over 65 please note: Tiny tiny tight trunks seldom look good on anyone… I also note the limits of my cheerful helpfulness (see also the bus seat story).

I was faced with an uncomfortable dilemma. Thing is, what can one say to an older gentleman drying himself in the changing room? How does one broach the subject of the soapy scrotum? The poorly rinsed foamy scrotum isn’t an easy subject to broach. Can you say ‘Excuse me mate, I wouldn’t put your pants on just yet as I’m pretty sure the back of your scrotum could do with a rinse, it’s still really soapy – might get a bit itchy later’? Maybe this man, being an older gentleman, would have seen enough of the world to not worry about this. But which way would he call it? Would he say ‘cheers mate, thanks for telling me, there’s not that many blokes who would be brave enough to mention a soapy scrotum to a stranger, you’ve really saved me a lot of uncomfortableness there’ or perhaps ‘thanks for mentioning it, but the thing is that dried soap suds protect it from drying out’. He might even have a young friend with a big cane inspecting his private parts post-swim as part of a kinky sex game. He may be embarrassed and give it a rinse and thereby lose his kinky punishment.

Of course I shall never know as I didn’t have the balls (or scrotum?) to say anything. What a wimp.

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