I saw Barney the big purple gay dinosaur! At Butlins! In a show! For free! (apart from the £400 for the weekend) OK, now you may think it was just some poor sap in a suit dancing around to some horrible corporate trademarked to death tape, but I still say I SAW BARNEY THE DINOSAUR! And he's as shit in real life as he is on the telly. So there.
Mind you, Chico from X Factor was on too. No idea who he is but he said that he's played Wembley and all kinds of places but Bognor was his favourite. Course it is. Panto in Skeggie next year then £200 from Chat magazine in a couple of years for a confessional piece about his boob job and alcoholism. Then back to the panel beating or whatever. Makes me feel quite famous.
And there was a panto too. Oh no there wasn't. No, really there was.
There were also shows involving redcoats. You could catch one while walking past in the morning at 10am and find the same people still on stage at 8pm when you walked past again. I wonder whether being a redcoat helps your CV for your big career as a kids TV presenter on cable having photos taken in your pants for lads mags?
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