I’ve just ‘gone private’ for me teeth. Paid for by the NHS actually, but it was off to the private hospital in Methley. They mainly do cosmetic surgery. Lots of scope for jokes there of course. I rather hoped I could play ‘spot the boob job’ in the waiting room. Thought I might 'pair up' the boob enlargements with the boob reductions. You know, get them chatting and see if they could do some sort of swap to save on materials.
There were adverts for open evenings where you could find out more about 'body shaping' and 'abdominoplasty' among other procedures. I thought dominos had been made of plastic for some time. Anyway, the place was kind of a cross between an NHS hospital and the Crossroads motel. Most people there were there for NHS dentistry it seems - more tattoos, beer bellies and footie shirts than they’re used to I guess. Mind you, there’s a limit on how posh a private hospital can be on the borders of Rothwell and Castleford – and I still had a long wait. I suppose they make the effort so the NHS patients don’t feel too uncomfortable. Here's an odd thought though - plastic surgery isn't really for posh people is it?
It's about time they worked out how to get people to grow new teeth if you ask me. Very old people occasionally grow one or two it would seem. They should cross them with Catholic embryos or something.
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