Monday, September 21, 2009

Bah bah, bah bah ba ba bah!

There are few records I really loathe. There's that Friends theme of course and My Sharona by the Knack. Top of the pile however, and my vote for the worst record ever made - ever - is The Final Countdown by Europe. The genre is 'soft metal' I believe. If you need me to explain why that particular genre is 'a bad idea' then leave immediately please. Spandex, poodle hair, strangled high vocals and of course worst of all, fake brass - on a keyboard. Used as a lead instrument! No No No!!

I could check out and then detail their other crimes against humanity (finding our which country they came from for one thing) but that'd mean new memories to add to the old ones from way back when. You don't forget these kinds of atrocities. So, no!

The reason I mention this is that 'Europe' are playing in Leeds soon! If you must go to a cheesy 'rock' gig then you can see Saxon supported by Anvil! But Europe? I bet there's some sort of promotional tie in with Magic FM and Mike's Carpets. Probably with the same DJ (do they still have DJs or does it all come down a pipe direct from corporate musical hell?) who helps judge battle of the bands competitions and ruins the fireworks displays at Roundhay Park by playing shite pop music over them on an inedequate PA system.

On the subject of keyboards, I remember John Peel explaining (not in person, on his show) about how he did his record shopping. He'd pick up a record and look at the band line up. If they had a keyboard player he'd just not buy the record. Simple, classic, elegant and true. There's a man who knew stuff. There's too much prejudice and fundamentalism in the real world but not enough in music.

"99% is shit". True then, true now. The Final Countdown is 73% of the 99%.

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