Mmm, Tescos had 2 kinds of Quorn sausages in the freezer. Both £1.59 (and about £1 over priced I’d say). One sort are ‘surprisingly succulent’. The others are ‘surprisingly tasty’.
So in what way do I want to be surprised when I get them home? This kind of implies that you’re expecting them not to be tasty or succulent in the first place. It also somewhat ruins the surprise if they do turn out to be either 1 - succulent or 2 - tasty. ‘Heaven’s to Betsy’ I’ll exclaim to Morag the cat, ‘these sausages were advertised as surprisingly tasty, now I can taste them and its not really a surprise, what a disappointment, I shall have to take this up with old Mr Tesco or the Quorn brothers when I see them next…unless I bought the ones which were surprisingly succulent; in which case substitute the word succulent for tasty in my last utterance - and would you like some milk?’
One of these kinds of sausages are called ‘bangers’ which is just too matey and old fashioned for words. The other sort are ‘Cumberland’. I’m not sure that Cumberland even exists anymore though for some reason I’m not wound up about the fact. Are these sausages made of hippo or is that the Cumberland herby bed shops?