Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Maintaining an election at 65 grand a year plus expenses?

Just a quick question...since the BBC has been telling us all day that from today there are "no MPs but only candidates" until the election presumably they don't get paid until and unless they get elected to the paid job of MP? Just a thought...

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

No need to run out of toilet paper...

Tescos today.  18 items bought.  Receipt is 80cm long.  Didn't even need a receipt really.  Waste paper.  Planet doomed.  Tescos fault...

Friday, March 17, 2017

Flowers solved! Cognitive dissonance dissolves...

Phew...flower mystery solved!  The answer to the question I posed re International Women's Day turned out to be...(opens correct envelope and pauses for effect for 30 seconds)... 'Polish wife'...

So, yes, it's an old Soviet / Eastern European tradition thing this giving flowers to women on IWD and not some weird commercial warping take over of feminism by Interflora or whoever...For once cognitive dissonance dissolves.

Wednesday, March 08, 2017

International keep 'er indoors sweet wiv a banch a flaars?

Well, here's a thing.  I came across a bloke taking flowers home for his wife today as it's International Women's Day.  Took me aback a bit.  I did make some sort of joke, though it wasn't quite as neat as what I might have said.  That would have been something along the lines of 'you're not going to bring down the Patriarchy with them mate'.

I've always associated IWD with equality and women's rights and feminism.  When I were a lad the idea of buying a woman flowers was suspect to say the least - trying to buy women off with 'I know you don't have rights and equal pay and whatever but there you go love, here's some pretty flowers to occupy the space in your fluffy little head'.  Something like that anyway.  And it seems to me that flowers in this country have been the traditional attempted get out of jail free card of choice for the male chauvinist - so he does something dreadful but it's all fine again after he presents her with a bunch of flowers from the petrol station in 1970s sitcom style.

Have I missed something?

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Suite 6 Phase 2 - Mind the doors please...

I do like a good bit of bureaucracy.  And a meeting of dubious necessity.  Here's a recent (and real) email: 

Dear Tenants

Xxxxx Xxxx will be  holding  a meeting in Suite 6 phase two building at 10.00am  on the 9th February -  regarding the new front doors phase two

Could you please arrange for one member of staff to attend the meeting – this person can then pass any information on to the other members of staff

Thanks you for your cooperation 


Thanks  

Get there early I guess!  I don't think these doors are like new doors to Westminster Abbey or anything btw (btw stands for 'by the way' btw - someone asked me what it meant by email today.  When I told them they said 'I'd never have got that'! - Just goes to show...)

Friday, September 23, 2016

Update on celebrating the death of millions

Just a quick additional comment on the pie that Marks and Sparks created to 'celebrate the death of millions' (which they really actually did obviously...)  I missed something.  Something obvious.  That is that there are people out there working for (or interned by I suppose) 'news' websites whose job is to generate clickbait.  One of the ways of doing that is of course to trawl Twatter to find somebody saying something 'controversial' (must take them minutes sometimes) that they can put on their website as a 'controversy' - and in some cases it becomes a click-through baitey solid gold storm in a Twattery for 5 minutes and traffic increases as people check it out - and then click on adverts and buy stuff as everyone does obviously (almost as obvious as the M&S policy to celebrate mass murder...)

The celebrate mass-murder pie was of course one of these.  I mistook it for an actual debate not a 'that lad over there called you a puff'' type 'controversy' from school.  Must either pay more or less attention...

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Do they know it's Christmas?

I stumbled across Christmas yesterday.  They were loading it on to the shelves in the Co-op and I nearly fell over it.  It was hot outside.  I quite like parts of Christmas but when it’s on for a third of the year it really pisses me off.  I react against it and end up hating the whole damned thing.  The staff thought it was a bit mad too.

Mind you, I saw my first set of Christmas lights, illuminated snowman and fake presents back in August advertising someone’s Christmas menu… 


I hope 3 sand a half months is enough time to buy all your stuff…Merry Christmas readers!

Pie celebrates deaths of millions

Here’s a snippet of the modern world.  The Huffington Post reports that “A woman has sparked a heated social media row, after she accused Marks & Spencer’s of creating a pie that celebrated the deaths of millions in Britain’s former colonies”.  Of course they did, Huffington, well done for summing that up so neatly and accurately.

It goes on from there in its predictable, weary twittery twattery nonsense fashion though scorn and ridicule to defence and support and ‘debate’ with surrounding and attached clickbatey nonsense.  A few people weigh in with jokes, half thought-out opinions and over-serious whatever and blah blah blah.  I know I should ‘just ignore it’ and move on, there’s nothing to see here etc.  But it annoys me that this stuff appears at all.

If only they really had produced a range of imperialist pies - ‘Sticking it to the Fuzzy- Wuzzies’ pie, a ‘Mr Gatling’s Gun teaches the Zulus table manners’ pie or similar.  This seems unlikely.  Humble apology pie seems more likely. 


No matter, move on…I’m off to invent a soft drink ‘celebrating the Holocaust’…must join Twatter…