Then we move on to an interview with someone who might know the French president’s wife for some speculation on how unhappy she may be to hear that her husband might be having an affair.
Then there’s an advert for live coverage of the press conference on French economic policy that may be ‘overshadowed’ by the fact that a French man might be having an affair with a French woman.
Then it’s back to sex with an explanation that Bill Roche is an actor and not actually Ken Barlow from Corrie (thanks for that BBC) - and a sex case from 50 years ago.
Then it’s over to a YouTube clip of an elephant overturning a car (I promise you I am not making this up!)...But it’s relevant because there was a British person involved.
After that lot we were finally rescued from this tosh torrent by Look North - who were featuring the man writing the official song of the Tour de France...
I decided to ask the BBC if we could have some like, you know, news at some point. I went to the BBC website and found there was ‘have your say’ section. I rather hoped for an email address or a ‘complaints’ button or something. Maybe even a postal address for Lord Reith? Instead you can send them a text or ‘send us your videos, pictures and stories’ to which I am tempted to say – 'employ some bloody journalists and find your own videos, pictures and stories BBC’ Thank goodness there was a link to ‘boiling water to snow web craze’ to prove they’re not afraid of the serious matters of the day.
For completeness here’s the text of the er, text I sent them (since I couldn’t be bothered searching for an email address).
“Dear BBC, what happened to the lunchtime news? We had a DJ touching up a girl on Top of the Pops, an ‘expert’ telling us about a French woman who may be unhappy and a YouTube clip of an elephant turning over a car! I look forward to all the goss from the BB house at 10 o’clock. Could we have some news and / or journalism at some point please? Or if you’re short I have some video of cats falling off things? Yours sincerely John Parkes (in Leeds)”
I don't suppose I can expect a reply in the whizzy have your say interactive multi-platform modern world...