Floody Hell!

I happened to catch the Mail on Sunday today (and no, I didn’t buy it…) The front page was about the floods that are happening hereabouts (North of England anyway). “Cities submerged” it said. That didn’t sound quite right to me. So here are the first definitions of the word ‘submerged’ I could find on-line:

"Cause (something) to be under water".

"Descend below the surface of an area of water".

"Completely cover or obscure".

So presumably at least 2 British cities were submerged. Under water. Completely! But when I turned over the page somehow the floods were a little less serious. In fact the Mail on Sunday considered a picture of Barbara Windsor dressed as a nurse in a Carry On film more important than the floods. Turn over again and there was more flood news – apparently there were “towns like Venice”. Hang on the Mail on Sunday - between page 1 and page 4 (with only a brief stop-over for Barbara Windsor) the sunken cities you were reporting have become partially flooded towns? Bad enough, but not quite the same eh?

Later on I’m sure I heard Radio 4 say that Leeds was flooded too. I drove to Leeds today (with no hold-ups on the road since you ask and no floods visible) and it turns out that it's not flooded - parts of Kirkstall Road and other bits near the river are flooded. Bad enough, but there are people out there who might think that there were submerged cities in the North of England and that Leeds was flooded. Some places are flooded. But not 98% of Leeds. And no cities are submerged.

Mind you, there are parts of Birmingham that are no-go areas to non-Muslims - Ha!

In floods of private tears...

Do you think it uncharitable to suggest that the floods are suddenly like, really important since they started affecting the Home Counties and the Thames Valley? 

I trust the very well off Thames Valley types who read and write for the Daily Mail et al have been investing the tax cuts they’ve had over recent years in fantastically efficient private sector solutions to flooding – or will they be wanting help from the public services they don’t think are worth paying for?  I exclude the small number of non Tory voters in the Home Counties from this sneer of course...

 

They could get Barclays round with wads of cash from bonuses to soak up the water couldn't they? 

 

Incidentally, why don't those who employ people in actual useful jobs like emptying the bins and turning people over in bed to prevent bed sores have to attract 'the very best' by paying 6 figure bonuses?  The answer is that they have to attract very special people I guess - and there aren't enough ambitious, greedy criminal incompetents to go round...