Tuesday, March 14, 2006

JP Album at Bargain Prices!

What I’d like you to do is buy the JP album. You can do this via the website or by post or from a shop - or whatever. However, I thought I’d tell you how to get a cheap one.

What happens is this. I / we (the AAZ Records marketing sales force) send out review copies to all the ‘proper’ music monthlies (you know, the ones with 8 page dad rock retrospectives – incidentally, I LOVE dad rock!) Then the scum sucker who isn’t going to review it puts it in a bag with a load of other CDs he’s not going to review and takes it down the second hand CD shop. He gets not very much for each one but he gets money for the JP CD (that he hasn’t reviewed) nonetheless.

This is the way the world works. It’s like wondering why Christian countries sell arms to third world dictators; thinking of how it should be just doesn’t get you anywhere. This is an area where for once I’m not that worked up. It’d be nice if they listened to the record (that’s reviewers by the way, I don’t suppose many third world, sorry, ‘developing world’ dictators are listening) or even decide to review it or keep it, but hey, the complete victory of Thatcherism means that in the real world you can get 50p for it down the second hand shop to spend on coke or at IKEA or whatever music journalists spend money on. Luckily, the chances of anyone making more than 50p from the JP album are quite slim (or as Loudon Wainwright III once said, the chances aren’t slim, the chances are fat…’)

Anyway….this all means you can get the JP album ‘second hand’ on Amazon starting at about £3. If you see a picture of one it says ‘promotional copy, not for resale’ which means ‘re-sell immediately’, obviously. You can also pay up to about £17 if you want. I know this because of ‘Google Alerts’ which also tells me that the album is for sale on e-bay too (apparently connected with the Wedding Present, which is another story).

So, here’s an offer for you. I’ll beat the cheapest price. Send me a cheque (made out to John Parkes) for £3 and I’ll send you the album. Oh, because it’s my album and my blog and I can do what the f*ck I want, you also have to send me proof of a donation of at least £5 to the Campaign Against the Arms Trade, Amnesty or a similar organisation that sticks in the craw of civilised (i.e. uncivilised) governments. Can’t say fairer than that as ‘they’ apparently say.

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